Today I went to Uni to meet my supervisor, you know what? we only meet for 5 mins?!!!! I thought there were something important that she wanted to tell us. In the end, she is invigilating for exams and is unable to sit down and brief us more. Drove to college for 20 minutes and then come home. Ridiculous~ Never been to college for such short time before and have to return home with that short amount of time. Haha~
Yesterday and today has been a great day for me. Putting all my time into reproducing the notes for SM and I'm impressed that I manage to finish 5 chapters in a day. This is one whole record for me. =). I'm about to start with EPM notes and subjects as it goes on. Jobs done by many indeed speeds up the work and complete the subject fast enough in shortest time of 2 days. This is pretty amazing. Joanne is always my best partner in doing notes, not to forget in previous semesters with Eliza, and Maggie also actually helps to speed up studying the subjects. It was lots of fun in the previous semesters. Unforgettable study memories with them. All the laughter, taught, enjoyment was thrilling.
I'm starting to get back my motivation in studies after the lessons learn for the past weeks or days. This semester have gotten me lazy and draggy with all the things I'm suppose to complete. I have no idea what gotten me into such depressing state but I'm glad I am able to come out from it. I'm happy for being able to get back the motivation of studies for this semester. It has been tough with all the happenings, but I am glad with so many supportive and encouragement friends around. They have made my day shine with just a simple greeting.
I'll hope to finish all the subjects notes by tomorrow if possible and start intense studying since then. Exams are just around the corner and everyone is getting real demotivated and tired with studies. I guess this is life. Life is full of ups and downs, enjoyment, thrill and sadness. Life is bittersweet sour. All the failures and drops makes you a better and stronger person over time standing up and face all the consequences and mistakes whether minor or major. Everyone do make mistakes in their life. That is where we learn to buck up and stand up again when we fall. It is important to stay strong and determine in whatever you do as it will definitely bring you nearer to success. Every little thing starts from the basic foundation we grow from babies to grown up adults, therefore things we learn adds up through time.
I'm having a great time immerse in books for now as it will put my mind at ease without having to think of all the breakdowns and disappointment I have in myself and in certain matters. I'll have to strive for the best with the remaining time I have for exam. At least I tried my best, I didn't give up. I believe when there's a will, there's a way in everything you do.
Let's all work towards achieving goals that was once set ! <3
Monday, November 21, 2011
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Start of a New Day
I was awake by not the alarm but the ringing tunes of my phone. Receiving a text message, I knew the reply has came. It was a fresh start with what I have received. I was glad you guys trust and have the guts to tell me the truth. I value and appreciate what was stated and will thus take note of it. I can never promise to show a new me so swiftly as this is not easy. As stated, time will mend things back I suppose. A really BIG THANK YOU to those who have told me whatever that was wrong. I have been like a winding road this semester if you know what I meant. Things weren't easy for me, getting tougher, more stress and difficult tasks.
With all the mistakes I have made, I learned over time. Things doesn't have to always go your way. Learn to accept others as who they are, understand, trust and respect for what it is that matters. Things will be better if I am able to do that. Giving trust is easily said than done. Passing by all the drops and fail points in my life has made me brought up being this way. Self-protected from everything that happens. I never trust so easily as how I did in the past due to the happenings upon me. I'll have to set on a journey to find back the part that I have lost or missed out. Everyone has two sides to them I believe. Its which part of it you want to be. Reflecting and understand yourself is important so that you first accept for who you are and then start understanding and accepting others. This is something I've learn for today.
Finals is approaching and with my current mood, I really hope I could buck up and gather back all my motivation and focus in studies. Tears drop like the rain for days, drowning in the rain to camouflage the tears, having done all that I'm not suppose to when finals are near. Its so hard to stop the tears from falling, rain from pouring,nearly impossible~ I just hope I could get things right back on track as planned. The finals are approaching with tough subjects and difficult attempting styles as there is an upgrade of standards in the University. I hope I could maintain everything the same, whether friendship, studies, relationships and so on. Time to wake up and face the challenging race ahead in a weeks time.
I wish the BEST of LUCK for everyone who is taking finals in a weeks time! Lets put our hearts out and do our best! <3<3<3
With all the mistakes I have made, I learned over time. Things doesn't have to always go your way. Learn to accept others as who they are, understand, trust and respect for what it is that matters. Things will be better if I am able to do that. Giving trust is easily said than done. Passing by all the drops and fail points in my life has made me brought up being this way. Self-protected from everything that happens. I never trust so easily as how I did in the past due to the happenings upon me. I'll have to set on a journey to find back the part that I have lost or missed out. Everyone has two sides to them I believe. Its which part of it you want to be. Reflecting and understand yourself is important so that you first accept for who you are and then start understanding and accepting others. This is something I've learn for today.
Finals is approaching and with my current mood, I really hope I could buck up and gather back all my motivation and focus in studies. Tears drop like the rain for days, drowning in the rain to camouflage the tears, having done all that I'm not suppose to when finals are near. Its so hard to stop the tears from falling, rain from pouring,nearly impossible~ I just hope I could get things right back on track as planned. The finals are approaching with tough subjects and difficult attempting styles as there is an upgrade of standards in the University. I hope I could maintain everything the same, whether friendship, studies, relationships and so on. Time to wake up and face the challenging race ahead in a weeks time.
I wish the BEST of LUCK for everyone who is taking finals in a weeks time! Lets put our hearts out and do our best! <3<3<3
Precious Memories
I guess it is a memorable day for me as an individual. I get to know that there are real true friends to hear me out when I'm immerse in complicated situations. Having this blog has made my life easier as I am able to spill out my emotions as I wish or had hold back for a long long time. Crying, sadness, sorrow, its time to say goodbye to you guys. I've never shed so much tears for a long long time. I guess I have forgotten the way to cry and be very self-protective towards others. Its time to let go of those grudge and unforgivable acts I have in the past. Its time to change for the better. I realize I have been very pathetic for the past months. Been very moody with things that is happening on me. I guess this is life. Will just have to move on with better determination and strength to hold on.
T1 has been a great class with a bunch of very helpful, supportive and fun friends. Appreciate that I was in this class rather than the other as I have seen group that breaks apart as well. Things are ongoing in life, shall learn from mistakes and improve on any aspects in life. It was pretty amazing life for me in Uni until this semester came upon where things start to break apart for some reasons. Losing one very important friend, not really losing but becoming strangers all of a sudden, it was heart aching. I never liked this feeling to overcome and overpower me sometimes. It is really hard to let go but to accept the fact it was gone. Thanks to Joanne and Kok Leong that hear me out, I was able to stand once more. But it was an experience of once in a lifetime. I am grateful to have known you even though I face the silence and awkwardness from you. I hope time will fade things away and things can turn back to be well and smooth.
I believe those who don't know me will think of me as being arrogant and bold. I guess it was all the drops and failure points in my journey of life that made me that way as a shield. Under the shield is still a lonely and weak creature who is foolish and naive sometimes. I guess its time to be more observant and sensitive towards others. I have been able to understand and capture all emotions previously but it seems to be lost somewhere in the woods. Its time to get back to sense. I apologize sincerely to those whom I unknown have offended or somehow have make things difficult for them. SORRY!
This semester has given me big times, many obstacles and challenges to face whether individually or as a group. I appreciate the support and understanding from you guys. Especially Joanne. I would really like to thank her for being there for me, hearing me out and understand my unrevealed feelings in whatever situation that matters. She was the reason that made me realize myself for who I am. My best sister ever!!! She has always help me out in whatever that matters. Innocent, honest and reliable sister I have had. There have been many ups and downs for the both of us in this semester. I really enjoyed working together with her in anyway as we make good partners I believe. P.S: Sorry if I did make things hard on you..<3..I enjoy those days that we both have to look out for each other in assignments and life. It was memorable days I had which are precious to me.
Not to forget my old secondary and primary classmates that have long been friends together. You all are great supporter and great friends to hang around together. There is much memories together with you guys. Was happy that you guys made the time to celebrate my birthday with me. It was an amazing birthday!!!Memorable for me indeed~~ =).. Although its a simple dinner you guys have made my day better with all the laughter and chit-chatting that we once long haven been able to share. You guys are a bunch of unforgettable friends in life to miss. We shall catch up when time appeals to all of us again.
It has been a very reflective day which I have on myself to get back the part of me that I have once lost. Thanks for being there guys. I appreciate it a lot. You'll always be in my heart...<3<3<3
Time for a change/makeover~~ =)
This time I mean it and will do it....I hope I can change for the better....Not just by words as "Action speak louder than Words" ~~
Nights~~ <3
T1 has been a great class with a bunch of very helpful, supportive and fun friends. Appreciate that I was in this class rather than the other as I have seen group that breaks apart as well. Things are ongoing in life, shall learn from mistakes and improve on any aspects in life. It was pretty amazing life for me in Uni until this semester came upon where things start to break apart for some reasons. Losing one very important friend, not really losing but becoming strangers all of a sudden, it was heart aching. I never liked this feeling to overcome and overpower me sometimes. It is really hard to let go but to accept the fact it was gone. Thanks to Joanne and Kok Leong that hear me out, I was able to stand once more. But it was an experience of once in a lifetime. I am grateful to have known you even though I face the silence and awkwardness from you. I hope time will fade things away and things can turn back to be well and smooth.
I believe those who don't know me will think of me as being arrogant and bold. I guess it was all the drops and failure points in my journey of life that made me that way as a shield. Under the shield is still a lonely and weak creature who is foolish and naive sometimes. I guess its time to be more observant and sensitive towards others. I have been able to understand and capture all emotions previously but it seems to be lost somewhere in the woods. Its time to get back to sense. I apologize sincerely to those whom I unknown have offended or somehow have make things difficult for them. SORRY!
This semester has given me big times, many obstacles and challenges to face whether individually or as a group. I appreciate the support and understanding from you guys. Especially Joanne. I would really like to thank her for being there for me, hearing me out and understand my unrevealed feelings in whatever situation that matters. She was the reason that made me realize myself for who I am. My best sister ever!!! She has always help me out in whatever that matters. Innocent, honest and reliable sister I have had. There have been many ups and downs for the both of us in this semester. I really enjoyed working together with her in anyway as we make good partners I believe. P.S: Sorry if I did make things hard on you..<3..I enjoy those days that we both have to look out for each other in assignments and life. It was memorable days I had which are precious to me.
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| Best Sista since day 1 <3 |
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| Tony Roma's Birthday with Bestmates |
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| Thanks for the gifts !! <3 |
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| All my birthday Presents!! <3 |
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| Present from great friends.<3 |
It has been a very reflective day which I have on myself to get back the part of me that I have once lost. Thanks for being there guys. I appreciate it a lot. You'll always be in my heart...<3<3<3
Time for a change/makeover~~ =)
This time I mean it and will do it....I hope I can change for the better....Not just by words as "Action speak louder than Words" ~~
Nights~~ <3
The Truth Hurts
It all starts the time I knew,
Someone a stranger till it blooms,
The closeless whom enjoy and go through with thy,
I'll never regret have known it wee.
It was well amazing from the start,
A call, text or greeting whom gain in surprise,
It soon become custom and part,
Which made whom delighted so not escape.
Things go on and time passes by,
Everthing was smooth and till whom know when,
Fading away whatever it is,
The reason whom didn't knew exist.
It was then, whom knew the presence,
For whatever reason, senses was strong,
It was as expected right from the moment,
The presence faded the closeness whom once have gotten.
Thy may felt the aesthesis of whom wanted,
For whatever reasons did not perceived nor ignored,
However knew, but took for granted,
Shrilling through whom heart that was frangible distort.
Fatigued as it is at the beginning,
Whom accepted it as a normal thing,
Then felt the greatness of presence in thy as time passing,
Longer it goes, further the distance portraying.
Its not easy nor tough to read,
Ignorance is all whom can complete,
A book with no author is not as published,
Encrypted in bosom thy never knew exists.
This is something whom dislike of happening,
For millions of reasons it gather as it seems,
Losing the once pistachio that was established,
Puff like a vapour with no vestige.
Emotions, feelings are hard to resist,
However so, will put this in pit, bottling it up and locked within,
Never wanting to break the exists,
Of once delighted, enjoyable and presence of thy.
Very brightful lighting was felt,
When whom joined the presence thy held,
Never attentive was thy with whom felt,
Unable to penetrate through the boundary that presence thy held.
Awkward as it is whom despise,
Whatever happens, thy never concern but be like ice,
Everything else blinded by the feelings reside,
Only having presence in thy's eyes.
Whom tired of being the middle stand,
Its an aesthesis that was present for so long,
Wanting to let go and be just oneself,
Now its time to wake up and stay where whom belong.
How whom wished nothing was changed,
Remain as it is from the time it began,
Hoping so that everything restrain,
Will break through borders and thus remained.
Someone a stranger till it blooms,
The closeless whom enjoy and go through with thy,
I'll never regret have known it wee.
It was well amazing from the start,
A call, text or greeting whom gain in surprise,
It soon become custom and part,
Which made whom delighted so not escape.
Things go on and time passes by,
Everthing was smooth and till whom know when,
Fading away whatever it is,
The reason whom didn't knew exist.
It was then, whom knew the presence,
For whatever reason, senses was strong,
It was as expected right from the moment,
The presence faded the closeness whom once have gotten.
Thy may felt the aesthesis of whom wanted,
For whatever reasons did not perceived nor ignored,
However knew, but took for granted,
Shrilling through whom heart that was frangible distort.
Fatigued as it is at the beginning,
Whom accepted it as a normal thing,
Then felt the greatness of presence in thy as time passing,
Longer it goes, further the distance portraying.
Its not easy nor tough to read,
Ignorance is all whom can complete,
A book with no author is not as published,
Encrypted in bosom thy never knew exists.
This is something whom dislike of happening,
For millions of reasons it gather as it seems,
Losing the once pistachio that was established,
Puff like a vapour with no vestige.
Emotions, feelings are hard to resist,
However so, will put this in pit, bottling it up and locked within,
Never wanting to break the exists,
Of once delighted, enjoyable and presence of thy.
Very brightful lighting was felt,
When whom joined the presence thy held,
Never attentive was thy with whom felt,
Unable to penetrate through the boundary that presence thy held.
Awkward as it is whom despise,
Whatever happens, thy never concern but be like ice,
Everything else blinded by the feelings reside,
Only having presence in thy's eyes.
Whom tired of being the middle stand,
Its an aesthesis that was present for so long,
Wanting to let go and be just oneself,
Now its time to wake up and stay where whom belong.
How whom wished nothing was changed,
Remain as it is from the time it began,
Hoping so that everything restrain,
Will break through borders and thus remained.
Life~Broken Hearted
Since the start of this semester, there have been many craps happening to me. Getting ignored, didn't know the reason, awkwardness and so on. This has been a disastrous semester for me!! I am freaking sad and disappointed of such circumstances that occur upon me!
Why does it always have to be this way?? I never understand?!!!
Was it I that was stubborn? unpredictable or whatsoever? I have no idea. I always lose friends just like that! Since Pre-U, things happened, now in degree, the same thing is happening!! I have no intention of getting people hurt, feeling bad or hate me. but it seems it is always that way.
There is no one that can hear me out. At least shouting out loud to the oceans where the air can capture the lifeless and breathless shouts that I have for so long is great but here there is never an ocean for me. Things are getting real complicated since the day it started. We we once such good good real besties, now we are as ignorant as strangers who passed by not even knowing the name of one. IS this the end to our friendship? I have no idea.
Him having to know my feelings have stay away from me for reasons which are unrevealed. I myself have no idea what have just happened in that short 6 months duration. Awkwardness, ignorance, silence..This is making me emotional when I think of it. Can't we maintain the previous lively and happy friendship that we had? Have you forgotten all the times we had together as friends? I'm speechless.... There is nothing I can do to stitch the broken pieces together again....
Assignments this semester have made me struggle with real stress. This has made me caught up in ARGUMENTS with my members. Now I'm being ignored again for the hassles that I have made. APOLOGIZING doesn't solve everything. Despite saying sorry, I don't know what else I can do to mend it back into one. I am one very straightforward person saying things I shouldn't sometimes which hurt people unintended. I feel the lost of belongingness in a group as a whole.
Useless, never needed, Unimportant person. People forget me easily just like how the wind blows sometimes. I've lost the battle. Everything that I treasure and was precious to me was gone in a glimpse of an eye. This life is so cruel. Taking everything away from me one by one. I can't take it anymore!!!! This is suffocating~~ How I wish I will not live such life in the Uni..
All I have is Sorrow, Sadness, Disappointment, De-motivation and more...
Its better for me to stay away from everyone and be alone sometimes so that I don't feel hurt. This is very depressing. I have had enough of shits in my life! Nothing always goes right....
Why does it always have to be this way?? I never understand?!!!
Was it I that was stubborn? unpredictable or whatsoever? I have no idea. I always lose friends just like that! Since Pre-U, things happened, now in degree, the same thing is happening!! I have no intention of getting people hurt, feeling bad or hate me. but it seems it is always that way.
There is no one that can hear me out. At least shouting out loud to the oceans where the air can capture the lifeless and breathless shouts that I have for so long is great but here there is never an ocean for me. Things are getting real complicated since the day it started. We we once such good good real besties, now we are as ignorant as strangers who passed by not even knowing the name of one. IS this the end to our friendship? I have no idea.
Him having to know my feelings have stay away from me for reasons which are unrevealed. I myself have no idea what have just happened in that short 6 months duration. Awkwardness, ignorance, silence..This is making me emotional when I think of it. Can't we maintain the previous lively and happy friendship that we had? Have you forgotten all the times we had together as friends? I'm speechless.... There is nothing I can do to stitch the broken pieces together again....
Assignments this semester have made me struggle with real stress. This has made me caught up in ARGUMENTS with my members. Now I'm being ignored again for the hassles that I have made. APOLOGIZING doesn't solve everything. Despite saying sorry, I don't know what else I can do to mend it back into one. I am one very straightforward person saying things I shouldn't sometimes which hurt people unintended. I feel the lost of belongingness in a group as a whole.
Useless, never needed, Unimportant person. People forget me easily just like how the wind blows sometimes. I've lost the battle. Everything that I treasure and was precious to me was gone in a glimpse of an eye. This life is so cruel. Taking everything away from me one by one. I can't take it anymore!!!! This is suffocating~~ How I wish I will not live such life in the Uni..
All I have is Sorrow, Sadness, Disappointment, De-motivation and more...
Its better for me to stay away from everyone and be alone sometimes so that I don't feel hurt. This is very depressing. I have had enough of shits in my life! Nothing always goes right....
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